TUESDAY, DECEMBER 26, 2006
Evidently I fought against returning and proceeded on my journey............
I have wondered at the sight of planes above and have been awestruck at their takeoff during educational visits to the airport. Now I am enjoying Air India hospitality and the vegetarian food they are serving. I just can't stop thinking about my wife and children. I am hopeful of paying back my loan and saving enough to get them to at least visit me in the US.
The plane travel is not anywhere near as exciting as I thought it to be. In fact, it is quite boring with the monotonous hum and nothing to see and enjoy outside. I got the window seat by request. I see only clouds below. My mind drifts to my efforts to go abroad since 1960.
In the early days it was my ambition to go abroad to earn....
I tried to go to Australia. I remember visiting the Australian High Commissioner's office at Bombay for an immigration interview in 1971 with my wife, daughter who was 2 years old then, and my infant son. After my application was rejected, I got cooled off. I was not ready to leave for higher studies as I still had responsibilities as the eldest son in a family of 9 - 4 brothers and 4 sisters; three of my brothers and two of my sisters were yet to be married. In those days, Australia was where people were getting immigration and with work permit.
What made me think of going abroad for studies after 15 years of service and a settled life as an Assistant Professor at Madras University? What made me take this drastic step? How could I leave my family totally dependent on my earnings in pursuit of higher studies? My father has retired as a Supervisor in the Corporation of Madras; my youngest brother has just started his University Education and my youngest sister is yet to be married. My 3rd younger sister had delivered her baby just yesterday the 26th of December. Why? Why? Why?
Is it the attraction of the US? Is it my thirst for knowledge? In reality it is the implied need for me to get a Doctoral degree in order to advance in my career. Implied because I was overlooked when opportunities came to promote me and others who had equal educational qualification but far less total experience were promoted before I was. When I was finally promoted around 1975 in Malcolm Audiseshiah's vice-chancellorship, the part-time Director of the School of Architecture and Planning prevented me from getting any raise. My innate desire to get educated in the US was kindled by the push factor of not being recognized at work.
I think I must have drifted into sleep. I am already in London and I have a few hours before catching my next flight to New York.
Anantha Sundaram
ReplyDeleteI love the layered voice-overs, the immediate thoughts as you plunge into a life altering decision, the feelings that prompted it and the one retelling as remembered. Thank you for sharing what I can onky reckon is deeply personal. The honesty in all those voices is bracing. The fact they are all part subjects, part witnesses and only part of an unfolding reality is poignant. Beautiful.
My response: I am glad you see it like that and like it as you see! I just ruminate and write down the incidents in one flow. Sometimes I go back and make corrections for typos and grammatical errors. The motivational force was Anjali (my daughter-in-law) one day in Dec. 2006. Something triggered that thought and made me share these in facebook and whatsapp. I keep having the dilemma as to the usefulness or wisdom of sharing these past events!
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